








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2192 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2504 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2654 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2876 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,623 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRTN | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | niklas | 71% | 28 |
| #3 | Kjerne | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Zitaogr | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Lurpak | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GaggE | 54% | 82 |
| #8 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 53% | 164 |
| #9 | JBCn1 | 53% | 133 |
| #10 | techtoon <3 magic | 52% | 61 |
| #11 | myagi | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Extnat ⛟ | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | techtoon <3 magic | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Lurpak | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | myagi | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 369 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | JBCn1 | 254 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | GaggE | 235 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | myagi | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lurpak | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklas | +4.47 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | Extnat ⛟ | +3.13 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | MRTN | +1.59 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | polz | +1.52 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Zitaogr | +0.14 | 67 | 66 |





