








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 595 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8869 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7848 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7419 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5340 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,070,311 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polz | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | ExtraCitron | 45% | 33 |
| #3 | Torchy | 43% | 258 |
| #4 | JBCn1 | 43% | 60 |
| #5 | Damse47 - 2640 | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kNrf ヅ | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | GaggE | 42% | 97 |
| #8 | VriztTheGreat | 41% | 58 |
| #9 | Joey | 41% | 110 |
| #10 | Smed_ | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Joey | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | VriztTheGreat | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | JBCn1 | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | GaggE | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | 434 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | GaggE | 297 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Joey | 184 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Damse47 - 2640 | 129 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | JBCn1 | 122 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torchy | +2.89 | 56 | 69 |
| #2 | polz | +2.76 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | GaggE | +0.77 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | ExtraCitron | +0.24 | 50 | 40 |
| #5 | Joey | -0.74 | 52 | 65 |





