








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3257 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4268 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5077 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5026 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,931 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | supRfly1h | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | save | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | PEST | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Andst ムム | 53% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bysted \\ | 48% | 58 |
| #8 | KirstenP <3 | 46% | 127 |
| #9 | BC | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | Cardan | 38% | 69 |
| #11 | JanniS | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilderen^ | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | KirstenP <3 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Andst ムム | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | PEST | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Cardan | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEST | 246 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Andst ムム | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | KirstenP <3 | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cardan | 169 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bysted \\ | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫 -🚽 ✂ ⋃ Herden⭕⃤☜☯☞ | +5.78 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | save | +2.78 | 67 | 79 |
| #3 | PEST | +1.64 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | supRfly1h | +1.45 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | vilderen^ | +0.69 | 86 | 54 |





