








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 90 | 26% |
| Smokes | 110 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 73 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 77 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,628 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clev | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Nestor | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | ayy | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Prins Yolo | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Ljuflingur | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Prins Yolo | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Ljuflingur | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Tje | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Lanzo | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | drulli | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ljuflingur | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Prins Yolo | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | ayy | 15 | 0.41 | 1 min |
| #4 | drulli | 8 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | clev | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ayy | +1.39 | 69 | 94 |
| #2 | Ljuflingur | +1.34 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Lanzo | +1.20 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | drulli | +0.91 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | h0und | +0.28 | 63 | 49 |





