








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6673 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5013 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3161 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3338 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,763 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaokao9k | 66% | 79 |
| #2 | ShottymanDET | 58% | 90 |
| #3 | BEAST | 56% | 78 |
| #4 | koolmotoOooOOoOo | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | tommyg | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | FRY N | 48% | 79 |
| #11 | beyond | 46% | 28 |
| #12 | phi102 | 45% | 47 |
| #13 | CHACA | 42% | 99 |
| #14 | Camo | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaokao9k | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | FRY N | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | DAB | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | tommyg | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | CHACA | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAB | 508 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | kaokao9k | 432 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | ShottymanDET | 419 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #4 | gravy | 412 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #5 | CHACA | 324 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaokao9k | +1.73 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | BEAST | +1.69 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | tommyg | +1.27 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | MB1 | +1.20 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | gravy | +0.97 | 84 | 73 |





