








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5495 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4876 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1432 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3596 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,026 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diatomic_ | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | teknikal | 57% | 99 |
| #3 | |<Vā | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | FireAntJR | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | Krooked | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FireAntJR | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | Krooked | 54% | 81 |
| #6 | OLD GRAND-DAD 100 PROOF | 52% | 145 |
| #7 | O37 | 49% | 55 |
| #8 | eobz_- | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLD GRAND-DAD 100 PROOF | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | FireAntJR | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | eobz_- | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Diatomic_ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Krooked | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLD GRAND-DAD 100 PROOF | 659 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | teknikal | 455 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Krooked | 386 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Diatomic_ | 322 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #5 | O37 | 289 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diatomic_ | +3.03 | 83 | 78 |
| #2 | S37 | +1.74 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | eobz_- | +1.61 | 90 | 62 |
| #4 | FireAntJR | +1.09 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | O37 | +0.55 | 48 | 72 |





