








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1714 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,921 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teknikal | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | |<Vā | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | S37 | 52% | 145 |
| #4 | O37 | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | eobz_- | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teknikal | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | |<Vā | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | S37 | 52% | 145 |
| #4 | O37 | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | eobz_- | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S37 | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | eobz_- | 2 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S37 | 499 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | O37 | 86 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | teknikal | 71 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | |<Vā | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | eobz_- | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eobz_- | +3.50 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | S37 | +1.11 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | O37 | +0.70 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | OLD GRAND-DAD 100 PROOF | -0.09 | 78 | 76 |
| #5 | teknikal | -0.58 | 67 | 76 |





