








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 865 | 32% |
| Smokes | 500 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 651 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,014 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XipeR | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | cdb | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Free Fallen | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | OLD GRAND-DAD 100 PROOF | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | teknikal | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FireAntJR | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | Diatomic_ | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | levy | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | |<Vⓜ | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | obg | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S37 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Krooked | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | FireAntJR | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Diatomic_ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | |<Vⓜ | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teknikal | 211 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | S37 | 204 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Krooked | 192 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | XipeR | 91 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | FireAntJR | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | levy | +2.39 | 55 | 75 |
| #2 | Free Fallen | +1.91 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | eobz_- | +1.34 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | Diatomic_ | +1.04 | 84 | 75 |
| #5 | obg | +0.86 | 60 | 67 |





