








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6006 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7047 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4605 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4276 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,355 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sup les fifs c'est Michel | 50% | 179 |
| #2 | GUCCI cArL | 49% | 164 |
| #3 | KNAVE | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | Sup les fifs c'est Gilles | 49% | 307 |
| #5 | samsamsamm | 49% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sup les fifs c'est Gilles | 31 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Papa Calinours | 28 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | samsamsamm | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Sup les fifs c'est Michel | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | GUCCI cArL | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Calinours | 1118 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | GUCCI cArL | 700 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | Sup les fifs c'est Gilles | 542 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | samsamsamm | 499 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | Sup les fifs c'est Michel | 316 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KNAVE | +3.55 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | GUCCI cArL | +3.43 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | samsamsamm | +1.01 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Mitaine | +0.71 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | Sup les fifs c'est Gilles | +0.38 | 81 | 51 |





