








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1174 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1622 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1529 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,964 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokasteve | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | waftle | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | MaestrO | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | OmaR | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Dodo | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | waftle | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | MaestrO | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | OmaR | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Dodo | 46% | 100 |
| #6 | Raph | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dodo | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Jokasteve | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | MaestrO | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | waftle | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokasteve | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | MaestrO | 57 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | waftle | 53 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Raph | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | OmaR | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caseyfoster | +1.40 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Jokasteve | +1.27 | 93 | 46 |
| #3 | OmaR | +0.11 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | MaestrO | -0.20 | 75 | 86 |
| #5 | Raph | -0.36 | 76 | 59 |





