








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1943 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1335 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,146 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @Balcbro | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Raph | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | waftle | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | Jokasteve | 51% | 140 |
| #5 | caseyfoster | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokasteve | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | waftle | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Raph | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waftle | 253 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jokasteve | 173 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lani | 151 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Raph | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | caseyfoster | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OmaR | +2.70 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | Raph | +1.17 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Jokasteve | +0.96 | 90 | 47 |
| #4 | caseyfoster | +0.33 | 84 | 75 |
| #5 | waftle | -0.61 | 76 | 61 |





