








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,807 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind cntrl | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | dk | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | yOGGi | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | tucuxi | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ddun | 50% | 6 |
| #13 | coxer | 50% | 6 |
| #14 | Zucc | 50% | 8 |
| #15 | Thelostluck | 44% | 9 |
| #16 | Flexy | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skjöldur | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | 7OXIC | 59 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | tucuxi | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | ddun | 27 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Money m1ke | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind cntrl | +5.16 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | ddun | +3.80 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | 7OXIC | +2.65 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | kArri0uz | +2.48 | 73 | 78 |
| #5 | kyro | +1.66 | 80 | 75 |





