








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1462 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,616 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | artur | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | ☭ shineN4t [exp] | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Serton♝ | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 72% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | ✪ bRYON | 63% | 27 |
| #14 | Kaztro is rws | 56% | 16 |
| #15 | Pylsan never forget | 55% | 20 |
| #16 | Klaki | 54% | 13 |
| #17 | drugbasher FYRIR VÖFFLURNAR | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristinnfannarmufc | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 4 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | mozart | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | drugbasher FYRIR VÖFFLURNAR | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Beygla | 1 | 0.0011 |





