








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 28% |
| Smokes | 589 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 439 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,459 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7OXIC | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | wlzNkj$ is rws | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | JOEJOE 8< | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | dk | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | c4rnif3x | 56% | 9 |
| #16 | exz0r | 50% | 4 |
| #17 | B Sim | 50% | 6 |
| #18 | kArri0uz | 50% | 8 |
| #19 | Money m1ke | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaztro is rws | 93 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Skjöldur | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | kArri0uz | 35 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | exz0r | 28 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | wlzNkj$ is rws | 21 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyro | +5.20 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | 7OXIC | +4.24 | 93 | 59 |
| #3 | B Sim | +2.87 | 34 | 79 |
| #4 | kiefy | +2.75 | 99 | 66 |
| #5 | JOEJOE 8< | +2.50 | 86 | 68 |





