








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,413 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RuflU | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | detinate | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | Nonni | 69% | 13 |
| #6 | EddezeNNN | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuflU | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Nonni | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | EddezeNNN | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonni | 73 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | RuflU | 72 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 30 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | EddezeNNN | 27 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | detinate | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detinate | +2.03 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | EddezeNNN | +1.16 | 83 | 47 |
| #3 | arNd_ | +0.71 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | Nonni | +0.66 | 84 | 73 |
| #5 | RuflU | +0.45 | 40 | 67 |





