








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1487 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2444 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2046 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2237 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,649 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonni | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | DeV1Ce | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Knifeka | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Jazzycakes | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | nutella.com | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | -SoDY- | 42% | 43 |
| #13 | allee** | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | Gvendur | 39% | 28 |
| #15 | Feydi | 32% | 22 |
| #16 | Mosto | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuflU | 13 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | nutella.com | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | -SoDY- | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Nonni | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Jazzycakes | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HODGY♛ | +1.74 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | Nonni | +1.70 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | Mosto | +1.68 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | DeV1Ce | +1.66 | 87 | 49 |
| #5 | Knifeka | +1.28 | 63 | 60 |





