








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5018 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3391 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2461 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3371 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,506 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDogg | 69% | 51 |
| #2 | John Globson | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Blaze | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | L0nestar | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | monty | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | wks | 51% | 79 |
| #10 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 50% | 56 |
| #11 | wig- | 40% | 60 |
| #12 | baker | 38% | 29 |
| #13 | ✪ Devil | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZayZay | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Jmb0 | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | wks | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | wig- | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | monty | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZayZay | 1046 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | wks | 459 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 208 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | wig- | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Devil | 140 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaze | +2.13 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | Cloud NeiN! Pipes | +2.11 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | monty | +2.06 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | wks | +1.88 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | John Globson | +1.16 | 73 | 50 |





