








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4251 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4531 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3449 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2261 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,718 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gu1dotoN | 54% | 191 |
| #5 | Tomi.K | 54% | 39 |
| #6 | Xo - | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | t0mmmm1 | 51% | 133 |
| #8 | strifejah | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomi.K | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Gu1dotoN | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | t0mmmm1 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | nixks* | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | PeterG | 2 | 0.0050 |





