








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 288 matches | ||
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5390 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4292 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5007 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3187 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,498,397 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nike | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | seth | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | ma1N∼ | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | Zaedy | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | _Tweekz_ | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ma1N∼ | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | Zaedy | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | _Tweekz_ | 53% | 49 |
| #6 | wpn Blur | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | ⛧Cheese⛧ | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaedy | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ma1N∼ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | _Tweekz_ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | wpn Blur | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | seth | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ma1N∼ | 374 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | seth | 263 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #3 | _Tweekz_ | 245 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zaedy | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | wpn Blur | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nike | +3.98 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | ma1N∼ | +1.61 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | c0da | +0.89 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | seth | +0.63 | 75 | 79 |
| #5 | Zaedy | -0.15 | 68 | 57 |





