








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1034 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,538 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr0blem | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | mds | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Klay Thompson | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | s1pp0 | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | baba | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mds | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Klay Thompson | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | s1pp0 | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | baba | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | Lil Baby ♪ | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1pp0 | 16 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | pr0blem | 6 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | mds | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Lil Baby ♪ | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Klay Thompson | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr0blem | 87 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | s1pp0 | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lil Baby ♪ | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | mds | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Klay Thompson | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mds | +6.13 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Lil Baby ♪ | +0.84 | 45 | 66 |
| #3 | pr0blem | +0.44 | 39 | 68 |
| #4 | MarKyMarK | -0.16 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | baba | -0.55 | 42 | 54 |





