








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3678 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4074 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3423 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3229 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,212 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alyssa Edwards | 54% | 151 |
| #6 | Lanzo | 53% | 74 |
| #7 | Celine Dion | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | eMbo | 50% | 52 |
| #9 | AtlieX | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Alyssa Edwards | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | jogurt | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Lucy | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Lanzo | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | 836 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Alyssa Edwards | 340 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | AtlieX | 221 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | eMbo | 158 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | jogurt | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucy | +3.59 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | Celine Dion | +2.35 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | +1.34 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | eMbo | +0.76 | 58 | 78 |
| #5 | jogurt | -0.33 | 50 | 58 |





