








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2230 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2488 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,496 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | NOT A PANDA | 45% | 94 |
| #12 | Celine Dion | 44% | 18 |
| #13 | Armannator | 43% | 107 |
| #14 | BushidO™ | 35% | 66 |
| #15 | Tje | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | 453 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Luffy^- Skyjaskokkari | 245 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Alyssa Edwards | 237 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Armannator | 206 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | AtlieX | 180 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Celine Dion | +3.06 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | +1.39 | 46 | 70 |
| #3 | Armannator | +1.00 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | eMbo | +0.93 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | jogurt | +0.46 | 46 | 59 |





