








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,616 | |
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 839 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1006 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 700 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,717 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MedicTrio | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | AZZA | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Mantipanti | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | BB | Kiddinho | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Keli96 | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | AZZA | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Keli96 | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | holymaloney | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | MedicTrio | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Onion Jr | 218 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #2 | jokkimsen | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | kulsi~ | 66 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rubinstern | 62 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lars | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB | Kiddinho | +5.44 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | kulsi~ | +4.39 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Mantipanti | +3.76 | 77 | 79 |
| #4 | Rubinstern | +2.96 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | Lars | +2.61 | 41 | 65 |





