








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4605 | 51% |
| Smokes | 869 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2133 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1351 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,741 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tarquin | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | --Paradox-_ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Pho ツ | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | BAGELS- | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | n1 N1h0N | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | 1gedz | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | unlucky | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | bdizzle™∞105ms | 35% | 20 |
| #14 | vinniecheese | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | 1gedz | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Vulture 2.0 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ShaunnyyMac | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | 222 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | 1gedz | 143 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | jackson4th | 124 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | unlucky | 97 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | +2.81 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | 1gedz | +2.72 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | jackson4th | +2.39 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | ShaunnyyMac | +1.75 | 72 | 36 |
| #5 | n1 N1h0N | +1.47 | 87 | 61 |





