








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 624 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3248 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4992 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6388 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3493 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,863,074 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | --Paradox-_ | 51% | 86 |
| #2 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 51% | 441 |
| #3 | unlucky | 50% | 171 |
| #4 | ShaunnyyMac | 50% | 366 |
| #5 | Pho ツ | 47% | 331 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 51% | 441 |
| #3 | unlucky | 50% | 171 |
| #4 | ShaunnyyMac | 50% | 366 |
| #5 | Pho ツ | 47% | 331 |
| #6 | Chopetez | 47% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaunnyyMac | 19 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Pho ツ | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Chopetez | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | unlucky | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopetez | 911 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 759 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #3 | ShaunnyyMac | 648 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | unlucky | 454 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Pho ツ | 237 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopetez | +1.72 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Vulture 2.0 | +1.72 | 56 | 47 |
| #3 | ShaunnyyMac | +1.29 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | --Paradox-_ | +0.01 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | Pho ツ | -1.77 | 49 | 43 |





