








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2102 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2198 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1815 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,528 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruby Rose | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | brew | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | sheet | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | xy | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | Knekkern | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | KamikaZe | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Knekkern | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dan ツ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | 275 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Knekkern | 186 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dan ツ | 186 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | s0ppen | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | KamikaZe | 154 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | +3.40 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | Knekkern | +1.35 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | s0ppen | +1.17 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | brew | +0.34 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Azid | +0.25 | 77 | 65 |





