








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1107 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 709 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 631 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,008 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0ppen | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Scofield | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Knekkern | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | ZeRostyle! | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sheet | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | Dan ツ | 36% | 50 |
| #8 | FISKlax | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | ✪ Mistermaker | 21% | 14 |
| #10 | wizarrrd | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Scofield | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Dan ツ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ✪ Mistermaker | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | 224 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dan ツ | 220 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Scofield | 125 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ZeRostyle! | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | s0ppen | 54 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | +3.38 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | FISKlax | +3.26 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Knekkern | +1.55 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | s0ppen | +1.32 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | ZeRostyle! | -0.61 | 71 | 81 |





