








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1927 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2228 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3033 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2205 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,534 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Bardolino | 42% | 12 |
| #16 | ♥ curiCURAcarapata ♥ | 41% | 17 |
| #17 | EMhighkz | 40% | 15 |
| #18 | Dr. Mabuse | 40% | 43 |
| #19 | Burnie | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | podricK42 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | vlo ṩ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | bennetelli | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | snkl | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | rocksTaa | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bennetelli | 272 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | podricK42 | 143 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dr. Mabuse | 131 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | snkl | 83 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | marco' | 68 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlo ṩ | +1.33 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | MYS. | +1.26 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | CHEF-KOCH | +1.24 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | bennetelli | +0.85 | 65 | 87 |
| #5 | snkl | -0.15 | 59 | 68 |





