








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 544 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8593 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9602 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10226 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8239 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,022,156 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schmixn' | 57% | 118 |
| #2 | sn@pp3r | 56% | 206 |
| #3 | Darnos | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | podricK42 | 55% | 375 |
| #5 | banshX | 55% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | snkl | 53% | 256 |
| #11 | bansh | 52% | 122 |
| #12 | bennetelli | 49% | 114 |
| #13 | fred0r | 48% | 58 |
| #14 | rocksTaa | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | podricK42 | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | EED vom Schleck | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | schmixn' | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | sn@pp3r | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Darnos | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | podricK42 | 1023 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #2 | bennetelli | 591 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | snkl | 428 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | schmixn' | 396 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Darnos | 305 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schmixn' | +2.18 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | vlo ṩ | +1.22 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | FlaXxo# | +0.83 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | bennetelli | +0.64 | 70 | 83 |
| #5 | snkl | +0.49 | 56 | 69 |





