








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5021 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5053 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5138 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4365 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,273,939 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M'sB|Cartman | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | ¡A la mierda! | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | IDoMethDaily | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | payback | 43% | 51 |
| #10 | Blyatin | 41% | 134 |
| #11 | QuiTschE | 41% | 175 |
| #12 | bobby | 38% | 94 |
| #13 | shadowWAW | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimsenArthalos | 510 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Blyatin | 227 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | bobby | 222 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | QuiTschE | 192 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hybed | 147 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadowWAW | +1.30 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | +1.07 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | CrimsenArthalos | +0.85 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | ¡A la mierda! | +0.32 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | Hybed | -0.04 | 66 | 72 |





