








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 827 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1156 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2146 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,840 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Criz` | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Scoops# It'sMyBirthday! | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Coba | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ÆTH3R | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | ADAPT | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coba | 268 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | L1ghtw8 | 237 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Criz` | 176 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | bruh | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Arbitrary | 119 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Criz` | +3.91 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Coba | +2.96 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | L1ghtw8 | +1.21 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | wiNgs | +0.60 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | ÆTH3R | +0.08 | 46 | 59 |





