










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 33% |
| Smokes | 374 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 549 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,576 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚Geek♚ | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Criz` | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | wiNgs | 51% | 65 |
| #4 | Scoops# It'sMyBirthday! | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | dhcL | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Scoops# It'sMyBirthday! | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | dhcL | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | HeatSeekeR | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | ÆTH3R | 24% | 25 |
| #8 | man_squid | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÆTH3R | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Scoops# It'sMyBirthday! | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | wiNgs | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÆTH3R | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Scoops# It'sMyBirthday! | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | wiNgs | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Criz` | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ♚Geek♚ | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Criz` | +5.39 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | wiNgs | +2.68 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | dhcL | +1.80 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | ÆTH3R | +0.34 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | HeatSeekeR | +0.33 | 28 | 51 |





