








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3733 | 14% |
| Smokes | 8397 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7408 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6786 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,200,032 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | huumixu | 40% | 55 |
| #14 | mirjami95 | 39% | 61 |
| #15 | unimasa | 39% | 67 |
| #16 | Vilbu | 38% | 79 |
| #17 | OdeMän | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1me | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | kultimo | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | bulisnautser | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Vilbu | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Sörsselssön | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kultimo | 838 | 0.27 | 27 min |
| #2 | L1me | 569 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Sörsselssön | 239 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vilbu | 162 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | JANNU[e] | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |





