








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2736 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3063 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,730 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomad | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Kaotic[jS] | 56% | 82 |
| #3 | CHRiSTPH | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Torrr | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | BRICK | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomad | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Kaotic[jS] | 56% | 82 |
| #3 | CHRiSTPH | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Torrr | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | BRICK | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nomad | 5 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | CHRiSTPH | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Kaotic[jS] | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Torrr | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | BRICK | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaotic[jS] | 227 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | CHRiSTPH | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | BRICK | 98 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nomad | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Torrr | 39 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaotic[jS] | +2.26 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Torrr | +0.92 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | Nomad | +0.44 | 51 | 59 |
| #4 | Vulpine | -0.09 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | BRICK | -0.85 | 71 | 58 |





