










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5715 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6251 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5419 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5603 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,680 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1033 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaotic[jS] | 65% | 111 |
| #2 | LEXISNOTHERE | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | Vulpine | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Torrr | 52% | 191 |
| #5 | Nomad | 52% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Torrr | 52% | 191 |
| #5 | Nomad | 52% | 124 |
| #6 | nate3XD | 50% | 62 |
| #7 | HANCE LAFLAME | 49% | 75 |
| #8 | BakedPotato | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torrr | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Nomad | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Kaotic[jS] | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | BakedPotato | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | HANCE LAFLAME | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torrr | 382 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nomad | 362 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kaotic[jS] | 333 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | BakedPotato | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | HANCE LAFLAME | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaotic[jS] | +4.58 | 76 | 81 |
| #2 | nate3XD | +2.15 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | LEXISNOTHERE | +0.96 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Torrr | +0.31 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | HANCE LAFLAME | -0.06 | 81 | 62 |





