








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 30% |
| Smokes | 939 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2136 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1008 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,474 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eN-Vee | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Kaotic[jS] | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | LEXISNOTHERE | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Vulpine | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | CHRiSTPH | 52% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LEXISNOTHERE | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Vulpine | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | CHRiSTPH | 52% | 191 |
| #6 | nate3XD | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | Nomad | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRiSTPH | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Nomad | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Vulpine | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Kaotic[jS] | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | LEXISNOTHERE | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRiSTPH | 628 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kaotic[jS] | 236 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nomad | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | nate3XD | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vulpine | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaotic[jS] | +4.77 | 77 | 81 |
| #2 | nate3XD | +2.16 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | LEXISNOTHERE | +1.83 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | Torrr | +0.23 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | CHRiSTPH | -0.47 | 63 | 66 |





