








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 514 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8501 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7615 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4757 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4681 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,937 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Spve | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Speshul | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | laeN | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Panda | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spve | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Speshul | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | laeN | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Panda | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | Emoster | 38% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoster | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Panda | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Speshul | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | laeN | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Spve | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoster | 319 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | laeN | 223 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Speshul | 161 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Astro | 111 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spve | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | +2.59 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | Spve | +0.65 | 53 | 61 |
| #3 | laeN | +0.48 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | Emoster | +0.41 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Speshul | -0.18 | 65 | 72 |





