








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2567 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1557 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,095 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keksi | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Ana | 54% | 142 |
| #3 | Roobertti | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | Uncle Ben's | 52% | 108 |
| #5 | siffo | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Genitalissimus Maximus | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | ✰ ☆ ★Hirvi★ ☆ ✰ | 39% | 18 |
| #13 | Steffe | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Skele | 36% | 11 |
| #15 | Johnny | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Ana | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Dani | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Roobertti | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | siffo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roobertti | 492 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Dani | 371 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ana | 370 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Uncle Ben's | 245 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | siffo | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben's | +3.46 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Skele | +3.33 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Dani | +0.91 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Roobertti | +0.61 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | Genitalissimus Maximus | +0.48 | 52 | 67 |





