








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1648 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2780 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,195,537 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yobettywhite | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | prosper | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Butters | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Gunner | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | benji | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prosper | 621 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Yobettywhite | 372 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gunner | 127 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Clammy | 118 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Skysong | 117 | 0.22 | 2 min |





