








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 25% |
| Smokes | 235 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 310 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 257 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,120 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 420_Dobby | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | ckkk | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Billo Beutlin | 33% | 18 |
| #10 | Hдuьtmдии SCHWARZHAUT | 30% | 27 |
| #11 | Inhumanblyat | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed3n | 90 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hдuьtmдии SCHWARZHAUT | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | 420_Dobby | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Billo Beutlin | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +8.09 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | K4 | +2.66 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | Billo Beutlin | +1.48 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | 420_Dobby | +0.50 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | ckkk | +0.27 | 87 | 61 |





