








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 654 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13320 | 29% |
| Smokes | 13021 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7520 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 11303 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,886,687 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unlucko | 67% | 64 |
| #2 | jspec | 59% | 340 |
| #3 | ☂ TwisteD ツ | 57% | 201 |
| #4 | jzumaki | 57% | 345 |
| #5 | "lik-]X[ | 56% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jzumaki | 57% | 345 |
| #5 | "lik-]X[ | 56% | 218 |
| #6 | JackY_b | 55% | 94 |
| #7 | panda- | 51% | 92 |
| #8 | slicE | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzumaki | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | jspec | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | "lik-]X[ | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | JackY_b | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | slicE | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzumaki | 1241 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #2 | "lik-]X[ | 852 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | jspec | 613 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | ☂ TwisteD ツ | 400 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | panda- | 364 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swi | +1.74 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | slicE | +0.52 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | jzumaki | +0.43 | 61 | 76 |
| #4 | "lik-]X[ | +0.28 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | jspec | -0.13 | 57 | 64 |





