










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 661 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12956 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12289 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10499 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8549 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,940 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL JEFE | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | swi | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | dzツ | 51% | 96 |
| #4 | Cow64 | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL JEFE | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | swi | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | dzツ | 51% | 96 |
| #4 | Cow64 | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cow64 | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | dzツ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | EL JEFE | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | swi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swi | 393 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Cow64 | 273 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | EL JEFE | 182 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | dzツ | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swi | +2.00 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | Cow64 | +0.65 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | panda- | +0.32 | 57 | 77 |
| #4 | EL JEFE | +0.08 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | dzツ | -1.72 | 67 | 59 |





