








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5711 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5386 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4757 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5031 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,701 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krayzie! | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | Super n0u* | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | volizzle | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | net | 51% | 129 |
| #5 | _qwertzN | 51% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Frag0r | 50% | 62 |
| #9 | iLiM.76. | 49% | 83 |
| #10 | Optix :> | 47% | 115 |
| #11 | !RuNNeR | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | Mo_O | 34% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _qwertzN | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | net | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Optix :> | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | iLiM.76. | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | volizzle | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Optix :> | 440 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | _qwertzN | 392 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | net | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | iLiM.76. | 216 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | volizzle | 193 | 0.12 | 4 min |





