








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1143 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1597 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 985 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,178 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scahh | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Sour. Sweet. John. | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | jim. | 52% | 151 |
| #4 | LeDon Gibroni <3 Knicks bb | 52% | 71 |
| #5 | joker | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ro | 48% | 143 |
| #8 | Dooms Day | 48% | 109 |
| #9 | c!nd3r | 45% | 82 |
| #10 | DiscipleTD | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | Noname | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sour. Sweet. John. | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | jim. | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Ro | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | c!nd3r | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | LeDon Gibroni <3 Knicks bb | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ro | 636 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | jim. | 454 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Dooms Day | 350 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | joker | 286 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sour. Sweet. John. | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathray2 | +3.31 | 44 | 43 |
| #2 | jim. | +1.77 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | joker | +1.14 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | Scahh | +1.02 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | LeDon Gibroni <3 Knicks bb | +0.54 | 64 | 49 |





