








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2317 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3109 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2272 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2851 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,672 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Snork | 46% | 56 |
| #12 | Dooms Day | 45% | 97 |
| #13 | LeDon Gibroni | 44% | 59 |
| #14 | Scahh | 42% | 36 |
| #15 | birdUP | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c!nd3r | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Blinkie | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Dooms Day | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | BAECHU | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Deathray2 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blinkie | 580 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | joker | 472 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | DiscipleTD | 352 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dooms Day | 347 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Deathray2 | 286 | 0.10 | 6 min |





