








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 828 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 203 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10189 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7009 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 12886 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 9726 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,501,502 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Zendok<3 | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | sQuirt | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | Areoon | 51% | 115 |
| #4 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 51% | 95 |
| #5 | muerfx | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Areoon | 361 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | LuCkMoNsTeR oO | 211 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | The Death is Coming | 166 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | sQuirt | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | muerfx | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |





