








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,788 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2351 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2137 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2328 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2476 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,670 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SiikR | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | zade☁ | 61% | 64 |
| #3 | Hermulez | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | Ahti | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | Bennet | 55% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | zoniK | 45% | 49 |
| #14 | juan roberto carlos raul esteban | 45% | 38 |
| #15 | Ice Cold Nutz | 45% | 76 |
| #16 | Mur0c | 38% | 45 |
| #17 | aLE | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bennet | 567 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | fisu | 371 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Arppa | 291 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ice Cold Nutz | 247 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | zade☁ | 247 | 0.18 | 8 min |





