








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8818 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7143 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6027 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5759 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,531 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jybert | 53% | 310 |
| #2 | PasiPaisti | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 52% | 362 |
| #4 | DaVille | 50% | 476 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | 50% | 489 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PasiPaisti | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 52% | 362 |
| #4 | DaVille | 50% | 476 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | 50% | 489 |
| #6 | Afom | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cock-Onen | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Jybert | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | DaVille | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | kaNe8D | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Afom | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cock-Onen | 2029 | 0.19 | 54 min |
| #2 | DaVille | 2017 | 0.20 | 66 min |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 1527 | 0.19 | 42 min |
| #4 | Jybert | 1356 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #5 | PasiPaisti | 519 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaNe8D | +1.11 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | jhxR | +0.84 | 59 | 84 |
| #3 | PasiPaisti | +0.45 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | Jybert | -0.27 | 57 | 72 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | -0.86 | 39 | 73 |





