








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1707 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1509 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 936 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,484 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jankkinen | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Tmu autoladder.gg | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | matt1meister | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | SaMu :> | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | jhxR | 53% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DaVille | 51% | 100 |
| #8 | Rambeli | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | kaNe8D | 49% | 86 |
| #10 | Cock-Onen | 48% | 115 |
| #11 | Jybert | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cock-Onen | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | DaVille | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Tmu autoladder.gg | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | SaMu :> | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | kaNe8D | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhxR | 548 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Cock-Onen | 485 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | DaVille | 428 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jybert | 341 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | kaNe8D | 331 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambeli | +2.34 | 62 | 66 |
| #2 | SaMu :> | +1.97 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | PasiPaisti | +0.90 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Jankkinen | +0.46 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | jhxR | +0.33 | 61 | 83 |





