








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 14% |
| Smokes | 334 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 770 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 475 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,857 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuuSak | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | kaNe8D | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Jybert | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Cock-Onen | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | jhxR | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cock-Onen | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | jhxR | 47% | 83 |
| #6 | DaVille | 45% | 88 |
| #7 | Kokkis | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | PasiPaisti | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cock-Onen | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kaNe8D | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | DaVille | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | jhxR | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Jybert | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaVille | 351 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | jhxR | 336 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cock-Onen | 312 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | kaNe8D | 168 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jybert | 58 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuuSak | +3.74 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | kaNe8D | +2.30 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | jhxR | +2.13 | 67 | 81 |
| #4 | Jybert | +1.36 | 55 | 68 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | -0.31 | 39 | 69 |





